Anyone who doesn’t listen will be consumed by the fiery sorrows of Hell along with the rest of Popey’s enemies.

“Once upon a time there was a little shit. He was completely useless so I sent him off to Florence to annoy people over there for a while. Now go the fuck to sleep Girolamo and don’t call me dad ffs!”

Poor Riario!

He really has a tough life. Dropped off at a monastary at birth, adopted by his homicidal maniac father, told to kill his mother to prove he’s useful (probably with some story on how he’ll be tortured and killed if he proves himself useless), watches his father kill his little cousin in cold blood and helping him become pope, all the abuse he has to suffer after his dad becomes pope and not even being able to call him dad anymore (not that he was really worthy of that title but okay) and in the end he doesn’t even get a happy life with Leo. 

To be honest, if he was really read the story I typed before, that would probably be the kindest words out of Sixtus’ mouth.

Yes, so much tragic backstory before we even get to things like Zita’s death 😦
In canon he says he didn’t know it was his mother, and for me that’s another strike against Sixtus, like he thought it might be amusing to have Riario do it and then reveal her identity? And I completely buy your idea of the threat of being killed if he proves himself useless. “Prove you’re  not a complete waste of space, go and kill this whore and don’t come home unless you do, or I’ll have you executed instead.” Ugh, Sixtus, such a dick.
This is why we need all the fanfic, pre-canon, AUs, fix-it’s, give Riario some kind of happiness!


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