Riario’s eyeliner game is on point!

Let’s play a game, everybody! I’ll take a bash at re-writing this scene, and you guys improve on it! Ready? Let’s go!

#1. Riario: Why are we walking down all these alleys full of washing, if we are looking for bath houses?

#2. Leo: Because bathhouses are always near the laundries. The both need hot water, so it makes sense!

#3. Riraio: Okay, who told you that, because bathhouses are luxury locations and are most definitely NOT located near commercial laundry businesses.Did they offer to trade you beans for your cow as well? Honestly, Leo, don’t be so gullible.

#4. Leo:  It was a …guy… (Riario looks skeptical)

#5. Leo: (off screen) He was a totally trustworthy guy, he sold me a map of bathhouse locations and also the homes of the stars. (Riario gives him the look that says “I know you are lying to me, but I’m going to let you play this one out to see just how far you are going to go with it.)

#6. Leo: Okay, FINE! I know where the bathhouses are because I come and prowl around them all whenever I can. It’s not for anonymous sex either, I study bodies for my art! It’s research! Totally legit!

#7. Riario: You keep telling yourself that, Leo. I think we both know better. (Leo storms off.)

#8. Riario: (sotto voce) He is going to get us both killed like this, but someone has to be a responsible adult here.

I’ve always thought that this scene should have been Riario trying to convince Leo to actually USE a bathhouse for once because heaven only knows the last time he bathed. He wears that outfit with the torn trousers for a really long time. So Riario tries to talk Leo into a bath, in #3 he offers to even scrub Leo’s back himself *cough* but Leo insists that the investigation must come first. #5 Riario holds back a snarky remark about coming first then Leo bolts off to follow another clue. #7 Riario tries one last bribe–”you can even use my personal rubber ducky, Artista”–but to no avail. So Riario can just follow his stench across the city. And plan some scheme to trip Leo into some soapy water soon.

To be honest, I imagined it just the other way around. Leo knows a great (and obviously discreet) bathhouse and is sneakily trying to trick Riario into going there and getting him naked

OOOOO! I want both of these!

Actually, I think I want them both AT THE SAME TIME! Like Leo thinks he’s being all clever and sneaky, trying to lure Riario into happy naked times in the bath, and Riario is like “I would literally do ANYTHING to get Leo to bathe right now.”

And they all live happily ever after.

Loving all these! I know my head canon is extremes!Leo, either not bathing for weeks or sitting in a bath for hours thinking 🙂
And yes, that tag, DvD would be so much better if S3 had been a same sex romcom 😀
My version of the gifs is them wandering around to find an exclusive market stall. Riario keeps telling Leo they’re going the wrong way and what does Leo know about shopping anyway, he always send Zo on his errands.
Leo is irritated, he’s tired of Riario being jealous about Zo. Riario gives him a flirty look, if Leo would spend more time with him, maybe he wouldn’t feel so neglected.
Unfortunately Leo’s desire to right trumps his horniness, and he is going to prove to Riario he knows where the stall is and haggle for the ahem supplies they need. Off he goes.
Riario sighs. What choice does he have but to follow Leo until the artista admits they’re lost. And then Riario can explain he’s already got the supplies, because unlike Leo, Riario plans ahead. And he would have told Leo so, if Leo would let him get a word in edgewise more often!


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